Operation Paddington

From: Mona Lisa@
Sent: Thursday, 26 march 2009 3:24 PM
To: hazelblackberry@
Subject: hi

.....What else? Oh. Manni’s ‘scrubs’ arrived. He looks adorable in them, and gets changed into them to watch Grey’s Anatomy, and House. They even came with a little X-ray, so he looks totally professional. We also got him a little shirt/tie/vest combo for the wedding – we thought it would me more suitable than a tuxedo for him, at a daytime function. But I am delighted with the aviator sunglasses that he wears with the outfit. He’s one cool bear.

She's an artist; she don't look back.

An email from Mona Lisa:

I’m looking forward to a cosy winter, reading. I noticed today that it is autumn here. At least in our backyard. A lovely season – so fleeting and unobtrusive but intricate.

No one sees the world like she does; no one ever will.

Please Look After This Bear

So I haven't yet mentioned here that, after 10 or so years together, Mona Lisa and The Professor are getting married!! Only David Attenborough can stop this steam train of love!

It's taken me a couple of weeks to ask Mona Lisa how Manni has taken the news (if you don't know about Manni, you really need to click on the link before reading further).

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From: Mona Lisa@
Sent: Tuesday 10 February 2009 12:18PM
To: hazelblackberry@
Subject: RE: Manni?

Manni continues to be a source of joy and wonder. It was him who really kept at us to get married: he is ridiculously excited by it all. I think he was a bit embarrassed that his parents weren’t married. He wants, and will get, a new suit to wear, and will carry the ring (somehow). He hasn’t been coping too well in the heat, with all that fur.

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From: hazelblackberry@
Sent: Tuesday 10 February 2009 2:12PM
To: Mona Lisa@
Subject: RE: Manni?

The next man in my life has to understand about Manni. It would be a kind of selection criteria.

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From: Mona Lisa@
Sent: Tuesday 10 February 2009 2:19PM
To: hazelblackberry@
Subject: RE: Manni?

Thank you. That made me smile. All I can say is The Professor loves him, and my Dad loves him. So some men have it in them, but I know a lot would roll their eyes. It is amazing how many people come up and talk to me when they see me with him (sometimes men). Just the other day at the Portrait Gallery this old lady was watching me and then said, 'Is that your child? Only him?' and I said yes and she said, 'He's not much trouble' and smiled.

Do you think The Antiquer would like Manni?

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From: hazelblackberry@
Sent: Tuesday 10 February 2009 2:22PM
To: Mona Lisa@
Subject: RE: Manni?

Oh The Antiquer would TOTALLY get Manni.

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From: Mona Lisa@
Sent: Tuesday 10 February 2009 2:27PM
To: hazelblackberry@
Subject: RE: Manni?

In that case, and already, really, The Antiquer is tops.

Talkus Interruptus

When QEII walks in the door, good taste tends to walk out. Especially if she, QEII, comes accompanied by a bottle of wine. We were in the middle of a not-terribly-highbrow conversation, marked by much guffawing and shrieking, when the phone rang: we had to make a mercy dash into the city to rescue Mona Lisa from the Sheraton. It wasn't until we were half way up the freeway that I realised I was in tracky daks and bare feet - again. Luckily, I had also forgotten my glasses so as I sashayed through the Sheraton's foyer, bumping through an endless stream of wedding parties, I was aware of various faces turned towards me, and moving up and down to give me the once over, but I was mercifully oblivious to the details of the thin-lipped expressions.

I don't think there were any Vietnam Veterans there. I didn't notice any camouflage gear. But then I wouldn't, would I?

Mona Lisa was very brave about being seen with me. She said people were probably just jealous I was dressed so comfortably. I'd like to believe her.

As for the not-so-highbrow conversation? Well, you'll have to wait until tomorrow to hear about that.

Daily Whimsy

Today as we cruised along Mona Lisa came up with the beginnings of a poem to celebrate her latest visit to Western Australia.

Driving around Perth -
until you see the sea.
That's what driving around Perth
is for.

We're not set on the punctuation yet, and we think it might benefit from being set to music. Don't ask me to sing it. My singing voice is only slightly less ghastly than my speaking voice.

This Really Happened to a Friend of Mine

What is it about the beach that elicits true confessions?

"That was me on Australia's Most Wanted."
"Did I ever mention I have a second wife and family?"
"Dammit, Marjorie, I want to wear your nightie to the shareholders' meeting and nothing can stop me."

Is it the wind making us feel wild? Is it all that water before us, making us feel like we're right on the edge of something and why not plunge in? It's a mystery.

Moreover, what is it about me that elicits true confessions? Everyone knows they're just going straight on my blog.

The upshot is that yesterday as we walked on the beach Mona Lisa told me that she's been having risque dreams about David Attenborough. They've found themselves thrown together in various improbable situations where many meaningful glances have been exchanged and at one point he even placed his hand on her knee. It's the little things that can mean so much.

The truly terrible result of all of this is that Mona Lisa has found herself gazing critically at The Professor, her long-standing boyfriend and eleven years her senior, and thinking, "Hmmm, he's just not old enough."

The Room Where They Keep the Cezannes

Mona Lisa is here! She has come to visit me for a few days which is, you know, lovely.

I picked her up at the airport last night. On my way I dropped in on The Antiquer and watched him make shepherd's pie in a fashion k. would not approve of.

(Yeah, yeah: in a fashion of which k. would not approve. Whatevs.)

It was a yummy shepherd's pie though The Antiquer fretted that it was watery; he moaned several times that Tam O'Shanter would come home from her run and comment on the wateriness. I think he's feeling the pressure, don't you?

Anyway. Mona Lisa is here! This time, sadly, without DJ Pups and without Manni, the Dark Rider. But we will make do. She's already asked me to try to get her an appointment with my doctor. That's the kind of exciting fun we get up to around here. Tune in for more as the week goes on.

When I told Grumpy this story he had a satisfyingly dramatic reaction.

After searing your eyeballs with rubbish like Rent, a soothing balm is to toddle off to the local movie theatre and take in the quality entertainment of The History Boys, with a good friend like Mona Lisa for company.

Afterwards I strategically steered us to the coffee shop where I knew I could get an Italian hot chocolate and Mona and I shared stories about what has been happening in our lives. As always, Mona held the trump card.

She and her boyfriend, The Professor, know a family that they not-too-affectionately refer to as The Maldicions. Mona got trapped into accepting a dinner invite to the Maldicions' place. The evening was passing in a dull and uneventful fashion when the Maldicion wife called the kids to come and clear the table, which they dutifully did. As they disappeared into the kitchen with various piles of crockery and cutlery, the Malwife yelled after them: "Don't scrape the plates, we're having soup tomorrow!"

Mona Lisa said that while the comment alone was ghastly enough, what really made the guests look at each other in horror was that for dinner that night they'd been served up casserole.

Re: Manni

To: Mona Lisa
From: hazelblackberry

.....BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY I must tell you: I ran into a cousin of Manni's! I was in the chocolate shop down the street and there he was up on a shelf. It was only the slight clearing of his throat that brought him to my attention. But he is so much BIGGER than Manni. About three times his size. Obviously from quality, Eastern European, body-building stock. Though he favours the same cravat that Manni wears. He was so pleased to hear he was doing well and said to say hello. He also suggested we go out to dinner sometime, but I had to politely and regretfully decline. His name is Boris.

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To: hazelblackberry
From: Mona Lisa

It is disturbing that there are Manni cousins out there. He thinks he is human, but also part real bear (European ancestry), so I’ve always been reluctant to introduce Manni to other teddy bears. I suspect a big hairy Boris cousin would freak him out. He already told me he’d become a vegetarian after catching sight of a box of Tiny Teddies in the supermarket, which to him suggested, understandably, some horrific teddy cannibalism. And did I tell you he is a Christian? Much to R’s disgust. But at least he is Anglican, and they’re as good as atheists, really. Manni liked to stop in all the beautiful old cathedrals on our holidays, to pray. He looked so cute kneeling between the pews.

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To: Mona Lisa
From: hazelblackberry

I love that Manni is an Anglican. He strikes me as having the dignity of an old-school English Anglican.

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To: hazelblackberry
From: Mona Lisa

I also was quietly pleased with Manni’s Anglicanism. He has such a good, solid character. It’s quite refreshing in this world.

From Behind

I spent a couple of days in Canberra last week. I went to a meeting which, to my astonishment, not only ran under time but also produced only one example of an innocent noun being mauled into a verb: dialoguing.

More importantly, I got to catch up with my friends Jessie Mo and Mona Lisa. And, even more importantly, I got to meet the delightful Manni, the Dark Rider. He even sat in my lap and had a snuggle while we watched House. The lovely thing about having Manni sit in your lap is that you realise how marvellous the back of his head is. We tried to capture it in a photo but fell woefully short:

Take it from me, it's a mighty fine sight to see.

Mannish Boy

This is Manni. Manni is a confidante and companion to my good friend Mona Lisa, who lives in Canberra. She rang me today and at the end of our conversation she told me she was sneaking Manni into the movies this afternoon. According to Mona Lisa, German trains have signs up warning against fare evasion. Fare evaders are known as Schwarzer Mitfahrer, which translates - colloquially, I think - as Dark Rider. Don't you love the idea of being a Dark Rider? Manni is a Dark Rider, smuggled into the theatre in Mona Lisa's bag.

She writes, "He doesn't like being 'In the Bag' too long, or 'Im Beutel' as they say. But he loves movies, and books. The perfect companion."

This is my favourite picture of Manni. It shows that he enjoys cultural pursuits without being a snob (just take a look at that expression!). But most of all I love the title of this photo: Very Busy.

Fortunately she knows me, and will forgive me.

Excerpt from an email just sent to Mona Lisa:

And how is your cousin? The one with the brain tumour. Which, unfortunately, sounds like an episode of Friends.