Not quite daylight

Friday was the last day of (this) prac for we L-plate teachers. To celebrate, one of my new uni friends threw a part-ay at her house. I was driving so I stuck to my limit of two glasses of champagne. I also stuck to my seat at one end of the table. I felt too lazy to get up and mingle. It was amazing how many people drifted up my way to chat and confide in me the various supposedly naughty things they'd done while on prac. Chucking a sickie was the big one that they felt particularly violated various laws of the universe. Clearly people who've never held down an office job.

During the evening one girl decided she desperately needed more cigarettes. I told her I'd drive her down to the local servo. She offered me money for petrol, which I declined. All the way there and back she babbled on in a really most charming and fascinating way about the various ups and downs of her life, how all she really wanted was to get married and have a family, etc etc. At one point she patted my arm and said, "I feel like you're the kind of person I can tell anything to!" I declined to point out that that was because she was extraordinarily drunk.

Anyway, at the servo I waited in the car while she ducked inside for her packet of fags. She reappeared doing a little jog and occasionally looking behind her - like that woman from the Ikea ad: "Start the car!" I wondered if maybe the place was being held up or something. She leapt into the passenger seat and flung something in to my lap. It was a Chupa Chup, strawberry flavoured.

"That's for you!" she cried. "I've never stolen anything in my life but I shoplifted you a Chupa Chup!"

I would like to say that we peeled out of that carpark in a purple haze of burning rubber but the truth is our exit was pretty sedate.