RobertPlant rang me yesterday while I was cheering myself up, browsing the shelves at Officeworks.
"Not at work?" he asked.
"Nah, I chucked a sad and decided to come home."
"I'd say to come round here but [Tam O'Shanter's ex-stepmother] is coming over, and I wouldn't put you through that."
"It's okay. I just want to go home, get into my pyjamas and, you know [adopts poxy voice] be with myself for a while."
"I dread to think where that might be heading."
He needn't have worried, it would've only been the same place everything else in my life is apparently going: nowhere.