Stand Back!

Yesterday New Girl and I met in town for a spot of shopping. We armed ourselves with super-caffeinated drinks and sallied forth. It wasn't long before I was waving my list around and declaring triumphantly, "I have everything on my list - everything!" She seemed impressed, and that, quite frankly, is the way we like it.

"The thing is," I told her on the phone this morning, "I may have got all the things I wrote down on the list, but I've realised now that I didn't write down on the list everything I needed*."

"A rookie mistake," said New Girl, doing a remarkable job of keeping the judgment out of her voice.

She knows how to wield a piece of plastic like a deadly weapon. We'd been standing at one particular counter in one particular department store where the glamorous one was ordering up some rather luxurious emollients.

"How much is that going to cost you?" I asked, out of the side of my mouth.

"I have no idea. But let's just say a lot," she replied, also ootsohm.

When the saleswoman rang the items up and stated the price in the blandest of tones, hand out already awaiting payment, I had to put one foot back a bit just to keep my balance. I reeled, if you see what I mean. New Girl looked composed as she coughed up the readies.

"Did you see," she said as we exited the store, furiously sucking our super-caffeinated drinks,"how I didn't even react when she said the amount."

"I noted it. It was a powerhouse performance." I said.

"You, however, visibly flinched."

Another rookie mistake. I'll never make it in this game. Particularly since I have no idea what the game is.



*Wanted.