So, of course, I haven't mentioned the most important news of all, which is that
NEW GIRL AND MAN HANDS ARE ENGAGED!!!!!
Siiiiigh. It's so thrilling. Man Hands told me that he thinks New Hands has a nice ring to it. I dunno; I think I prefer Man Girl. Neither of them seemed so keen, though.
Anyway, it really doesn't matter what they call themselves. What's important is that they don't carry through with their threat to replace "I do" in the wedding vows with "Bring it on!"