Letters to Cleo (II)

Continuing on with my list:

(6) The Burp's parents are very proud of her but occasionally when The Burp's mother, Lady Burp, is asked how The Burp came to be a Tupperware manager, Lady Burp likes to answer thusly: "You don't just decide you want to be a Tupperware manager, you know. Firstly, you must spend five years at an expensive private school, then work hard for four years to get your science degree. After that you move to a tiny town in the south-west, marry an impoverished farmer and work hard on the farm. After ten or so years you sell the farm and move the family back to Perth while your husband goes to university. Then, and only then, are you ready to become a Tupperware manager."

(7) Lady Burp used to step out with John Hurt. When she revealed this fact at school kids ran around saying, "Burp's mum went out with the Elephant Man!"

(8) Last year a friend and her mother were planning an overseas trip and I was at their place chatting about it. You know, living vicariously. I asked the mother if she was prepared for the long haul flight and she leaned over and said, "Hazelblackberry, darling, I have a theory about plane travel. If your flight is less than seven hours, you travel business class; if your flight is more than seven hours, you travel first class - isn't it?" Like I said, I was there to live vicariously.

(9) When we were in high school our friend Clarinet, ever the trend-setter, got her hair streaked. She has very dark hair and the streaks came out, well, a little grey. When she got home her dad took one look at her and said, "Good Lord, Clarinet, you've aged."

(10) A couple of years ago when Clarinet was visiting her parents her father was hanging out the washing, including C's g-strings. He came inside and said, "Clarinet, I've hung out a heap of little handkerchiefs for you but I can't find your undies anywhere."