Hell Freezes Over

I like ice in my drinks. In my cold drinks.

For God's sake.

Anyway, I like lots of ice and if there's no ice I like my drinks to be icy. We don't have any ice at work so when I buy my lunchtime Coke I chuck it in the freezer for an hour or two to get brrrrcold, maybe even a little mushy.

(Some science type explained to me once why your coke can sit in the freezer looking like liquid but then as soon as you open the top it turns all mushy-icy but it was all science blah blah blah and it was all I could do to look interested, let alone take in what he was saying. This guy used to take his sandals off at work and walk around in his socks all day. Notice how that one sentence neatly described his two great crimes against humanity: (a) walking around at work in just your socks (and other clothes, yes, yes); and (b) WEARING SOCKS WITH SANDALS. But God also struck him down with the most embarrassing case of ongoing uncontrolled public farting so, you know, you could only look upon him with pity. Well. When you weren't seething with rage at the festering air and how everyone could just act like nothing was happening.)

But you may have noticed: I digress. This afternoon I retrieved my Coke from the freezer and the mushy ice layer was thicker than usual. So much so that it was preventing me from getting any of that sweet sugary medicine down below. Clearly, the mush needed to be distributed amongst the liquid. Clearly, the easiest way to do that would be to shake up the bottle. Clearly, my claim for a new keyboard is going to take a little explaining.