Charles and Camilla to Wed! Again!

But listen. How, oh how, can the future (mebbe) King of England get caught telling his lovely lady that he just can't get enough of her saucy body and that he'd like to be reincarnated as her tampon??

Really.

I mean, we've all engaged in some fruity pillow talk in our time but that's the point. It's pillow talk. Not mobile phone chit chat, sent out across the telecommunications waves for all to hear. I hope Charles has learnt his lesson and confines some of his riper intimacies to the boudoir when it's just him, sweet Camilla and his four most trusted courtiers - one at each corner of the bed, waiting to wave the bloodied sheets to the expectant crowd below.