After Grog...

This photo isn't just a reflection of my state of mind post-wedding*, mid-hangover.

I've been meaning to post it for ages. Heidi and I hitched a ride on a tour of a submarine down at the port. This was my favourite thing: a toilet roll hanging on the wall. It's to dry and de-fog the periscope viewfinder when it's wound up for viewing.

And, you know, as emergency supplies should you see anything really scary while you're looking.



*Not my wedding. Duh. Grumpy and I aren't even divorced yet. Let's let the paint dry on that one first, shall we?

Purchase

On Sunday morning Heidi and I decided that we were too tired to cope with the demands of a dive, so settled for a snorkel instead at Boyinaboat Reef. Heidi wanted to check it out because she thought it would be a good spot for a dive. As we climbed up and down the rocks, them and us baking in the sun, I vowed and declared there'd be no way she'd get me all trussed up and lumbering over the mole in heavy, awkward dive gear. I can feel awkward just walking down the street, thanks.

We jumped in the water and swam out to the reef. We'd only been floating along for about ten minutes when I broke down and almost demanded of Heidi that our next dive be here, on this very spot*. She just smiled. Well, I can never really enjoy a thing unless I create a bit of drama first. And my resolve only wavered slightly as we exited the water, when the swell had picked up and getting a toehold on the rocks was a bit tricky.

Afterwards we had eggs. Nothing beats eggs. Not even scissors.

I could live on just eggs all the time. With maybe some lime to keep the scurvy at bay.

And a ship's biscuit.



*By 'this very spot' I mean Boyinaboat Reef. Not here in my office where I'm composing this blog. While the visibility would be good, when I'm in it conditions can rarely be described as calm.

Til Death Do Us, Mercifully, Part

New Girl and Man Hands are still on hols, post-wedding. They have, from all accounts, been enjoying much quality time together. A hell of a lot of time.

I went out to dinner with Heidi and some of her mates last night to celebrate Heidi's birthday and then popped in briefly at a part-ay that LadyBoy were at. New Girl saw me arrive from the upstairs balcony and shrieked a boisterous greeting. It was fairly apparent that she'd spent the earlier part of the evening doing some intensive wine appreciation. If the screaming hadn't made it obvious, the little dance she did to Aga-Doo later on would have cleared things up pretty quickly.

I didn't hang around for long and when I went to leave New Girl and one of her friends walked me to my car. We were talking about having lunch during the week. We asked New Girl when she'd be free and she was able to tell us any day would be fine as Man Hands would be off at uni full-time for the next two weeks. She grabbed us both by the arms, as much to help with her balance as for emphasis. "At last," she nearly sobbed, "at last. I'm going to be rid of him!"

And to think she was ungrateful enough to accept a ride home from the poor boy.

Watcha doin' in my waters?

Heidi and I took the kayaks out to Seal Island for a couple of hours of paddling and lolling on the ocean blue. And what a day for it: sunny, warm, the merest puff of breeze, clear and calm water, cormorants and pelicans swooping low over the sea, dolphins and seals swimming by to say hello.

Afterwards we walked through Freo, looking for somewhere that was still serving eggs on toast in the early arvo. We found it. I love walking barefoot on the footpath at this time of year, when the concrete is warm without being burning. It satisfies me.

Even with boot camp thrown into the mix this morning, it's pretty much been a perfect day.

My Roger So Jolly

Heidi has an Eclectus parrot called Zephy. She sticks a little harness on Zephy so that she can roam far and wide with her. Today, Heidi, Heidi's mum, bird and I all went strolling along the beach before wandering over to the Wild Fig Cafe to meet our friend Hot Lips* for lunch.

Zephy spent most of the meal on my shoulder, with me periodically asking if she'd pooed on me. Not because I really care about having parrot poo on my back, but because I didn't want to inadvertently squish it into my car seat later. She didn't poo. She did shriek a lot, right in my ear, but then I've been listening to plenty of Sinead O'Connor lately so, you know, same diff.

Hot Lips was late to lunch and as she walked in, some people were leaving. She indicated the recent departures and told us, "I overheard them joking that they'd never eaten in the same place as real pirates before."



*Come on, she was an army major!

Sidelined

As we left the car park after our dive Heidi said, "Ooh, I didn't check if we left anything behind."

She was reversing as she spoke and we both got a jolt as the car hit the other side of the road.

"I thought you might have forgotten the kerb, but no - you've already collected that."

How IS the serenity?

Aaaaaah, just back from my dive with the marvellous Heidi. We took a dive along Robb's Jetty and it was bliss. Swimming past the stumps of the old jetty as the sun sunk lower in the sky somewhere above us was like walking through an abandoned sculpture garden. The shapes mysterious and silent, covered in all manner of brightly-coloured plant life and bird-like fish darting and hovering everywhere. Only it was better, because when the bird-fish floated off, we weren't earth-bound, we could float off after them.

Thanks, Heidi. That was brill.

The Azure

Despite the formidable wind, Heidi and I took the kayaks out to Seal Island this morning. We got buffeted around but it was worth it to see the seals and pelican chicks. Pelican chicks!

Nothing beats being out on the ocean. The river is peaceful - idyllic even - but the ocean is really living.

It was a long paddle back to shore into the headwind, but we just kept chugging along. A man in a little dinghy came over to us twice to check we were okay, and did we need a hand getting back to the beach. We can be a pretty good lot sometimes, us humans.

Later at the cafe where we were eating brekky we freaked the young waitress out ordering just eggs on toast.

"You can have bacon and eggs on toast. But I don't know about just eggs. I'll have to check with the kitchen."

Turns out it was okay. Well, phew.

And chocolate balls?

I'm feeling all gloriously hot & salty because Heidi and I have just been for a dive. My first dive in five years! But luckily Heidi is a dive master and she held my hand - not just metaphorically - through the whole thing.

Then, afterwards, we went book shopping! Walking through Freo bare foot like a couple of hippies*. Really, it doesn't get much better than that.

["Right," says New Girl, "I'm not standing for this. Sign me up for a PADI course now." Steady, old thing. There's plenty of book lovin' to go around.]



*Heidi is a hippie; a groovy hippie. I have hipness and grooviness by association. In my mind, anyway.

Going Downtown, Gonna See My Girl

I was walking on the beach with my friend Heidi yesterday. We were talking about the respective trips round Australia that we have done in the past: me with Grumpy (arguing all the way) and she with her boyfriend, Jerry Garcia.

It was the one holiday that Grumpy and I saved for and I mentioned that we had set ourselves a daily budget for fuel and for accommodation.

"Well, we had the camper," said Heidi, "so accommodation wasn't a problem. But what I needed to factor in was Jerry's drug budget - and of course we blew most of that in northern New South Wales."

Some people have Harrods; others have Nimbin. But only one gives you the sort of souvenir bag you can wander around in public with.