20 September 2010


Like many normal people if, for some reason, I have strangers coming to my haus, and particularly if I'm not going to be at home, I like to whiz around and spruce the place up a bit - you know, to give the impression that, oh yes, I live like this all the time. [Often, a large part of this involves hiding all the Nutella jars I've yet to recycle.]

But I know you're with me. On the spruce up situ, if not the Nutella. Some of you are, like, sooo judgemental?

Wait. You are with me, aren't you?

Anyway. So today was one of those days when strange men would be trawling through my abode while I was being industrious at work. Or at the very least was occupying a seat in the office. Sheesh. Sticklers for detail. I was dashing from room to room making everything look mildly inhabitable when I realised that one thing I'd left out were some, well, look, motivational placards that Scarab had sweetly made for me. Like some of my friends, Scarab knows that I've been finding the going a bit tough of late and she took the time to take some pretty pink card and write inspirational buck-up messages on them to remind me while she was away on holiday that life is, indeed, good.

I thought about putting the placards away and then I decided against it because, bugger it, it's my haus and my life and who's going to notice anyway? Not the bunch of strangers walking around, kicking up dust, battling rapid-onset silicosis. Thus, the placards stayed up.

I got home tonight, chucked my bag on the dining table and wandered off in the general direction of a wine bottle. When I came back to grab my phone from my bag, this is what I noticed sitting next to it:

The Bible. Open at the 23rd Psalm. The Lord is my shepherd, etc. Which simultaneously reminds me of droning along with this at school assemblies with The Burp, Robert Plant, Scarab, Dr Zhivago, et al and of this song.

Someone has been in my haus and, upon seeing my motivational posters and recognising a troubled soul in crisis, fossicked in my bookshelf for the Bible and left it open for me. To comfort and soothe.

And, let's face it, shudder.

On the one hand this seems like a nice, decent thing to do. On the other hand, I'm waiting to hear the opening strains of 'Misty' waft down the corridor at any moment. I'm wavering at feeling touched by the concern shown for me by a faceless fellow human being, and the thought that right now that secret camera they've installed to monitor my progress is trained on me.

Note to self: to pick or not to pick?

I think I'm coming down on the side of the shudder. To the point of violent spasming. Huh. At least that'll give my secret watcher a decent floor show.


Lucy Inglis said...

I don't believe Hazel, but I think that is really, *really* lovely and touching, like someone giving you their teddy bear. Not creepy at all.

Karen said...

Maybe it wasn't left there for you. Maybe your motivational messages made someone feel like they needed to read the Bible -- like, immediately -- and then, so as to let you know they'd been "borrowing" your book, left it out on purpose so as not to be too creepy. Well, I mean, to the extent that it's less creepy to let someone know that you've been pawing their stuff than to (try to) put it back as if you hadn't. You know?

Or you could go with lovely and touching... Years ago, the men that came into our house to do work while we were out burnt cigarette holes in things. I'd take a bible being left open over that.

The Devotea said...

Perhaps the Beardy Sky Man, in His infinite wisdom, chose the tradesman as His instrument of your Salvation, so that upon your return, the trumpets would sound as you were raised up by the righteous joy of the words, basking in His Great and Infinite Love.
On the other hand, it is at least equally possible that you now have a stalker.
So it's Praise the Lord and buy a taser.

BCKMPH said...

Nobody give me a taser.

New Girl said...

I'm going with Not Creepy.

I think it's a nice, caring thing. Maybe the person found this psalm helpful at a tough time and wanted to pass that on. It's a very human thing to want to help another. And the book was already in your house and on display.

I'll be hiding an Eckhart Tolle book in your bookshelf this evening so that future messages from tradies can be more alarming.

Mary Bennet said...

Oh my!

Definitely creepy.

Actually I'm amazed at your letting people in unsupervised at all. Ever since one of my former catsitters made a remark about the opportunities the gig would give to find my underwear drawer I've had a lot less faith in other people's sense of decorum.

Oh and welcome back

Huth said...

Simple solution to prevent repeat:chuck bible out. No need to own one after all.

Anonymous said...

They could also have taken your Stephen King collection and left them open at the most scary slasher part...

Or the Good Book has opened up itself by its own to reveal The Truth to you...

Maybe motivational emails and comments are what you´re looking for: Cheer up, Haze, there´s only only way from the bottom and that´s up!


PS Word verification is 'ayers', does that mean true revelation of the truth can be found at Ayers Rock?