11 March 2010

So these three men walk into a bar...

I have a friend, who shall have to remain nameless*, who copes with some of the more miserable moments in life by curling up on the floor of her shower and crying while the water runs over her. Sometimes for a couple of hours.

Thank heavens for instant gas hot water systems, eh?

So I know she had some unsettling news today - nothing overly dramatic, just a part of a long-running issue in her life - and it just so happened I had to give her a call this evening to let her know something. After getting no answer on either her home phone or her mobile, and worried that she may have taken things harder than first appeared, I sent her a text, which included the following:
Suddenly have vision of you taking a long shower.
Then it occurred to me that, taken out of context, that was possibly not the kind of text I'd want to be seen sending to another woman. But it would make a slightly amusing blog entry, thus getting me out of trouble today. It then further occurred to me that in blogging it I would sound like George Clooney madly explaining away this episode with his pig and a naked friend:

Occasionally, all that squealing can come in handy, like the early morning hours of 16 January 1994, when the Northridge earthquake shook most of Los Angeles, prompting shortlived but very real fears that the Big One had struck.

As Clooney recounted it: "Max was in bed with me and woke up minutes before it happened. And I was yelling at him for waking me up, when everything just exploded. So, I'm naked with Max, and running ... because I'm in a house on a hill, and if it's going down I want to be up on the street, dodging the next house.

"My buddy, who lives in the downstairs guesthouse, comes running up. And he's naked. With a gun, because he thought someone was breaking in. And I'm trying to write a note to my folks, trying to explain to them in case we die that it's not what is seems: two naked men, a gun and a pig."

(Full article here.)

Then, and only then, did it occur to me that this was the most recursive, reiterative and redundant blog post I may ever have written.

And so, goodnight.

*Picture every other friend ringing up and asking, "Who is it?!"

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