01 April 2009

Campaign Manager

So there's a little group of four people who sit together here at work and on one of the cabinets between their desks they keep a bowl filled with Smarties. Since I'm a major user and abuser of the bowl*, I tend to pick up a big bag of Smarties at Woolies each week and bring it in to help replenish supplies. I should just cut out the middle man, like Paul the Outdoor Outlaw used to, and keep the bag on my desk.

Anyway. The point is, I trot out there, grab a handful of Smarties, everyone mocks me for my greedy ways and it helps to keep the atmosphere light. Breezy, if you see what I mean. People coming together over a common enemy and all that.

Today after my three Weet-Bix and So Good had failed to satisfy I mooched over for some chocolate goodness. A girl, originally from England, was hanging around the desks and when she saw my modest fistful of sweetness**, she said, "Smarties! Have you ever noticed how when you suck all the colour off they're all white on the inside?"

What I wanted to say to her was that that was exactly the kind of sentiment on which colonial powers like her homeland had risen and fallen. But, you know, I didn't. More of the light and breezy and less of the common enemy is what I need round here.

*Another great euphemism that wasn't.
**And another!
***I wonder if I could get a job as a creator of euphemisms. I reckon I'd be good at it.


Rodney Olsen said...

Just when I'd finally managed to get that awful Outdoor Outlaw jingle out of my head, you bring it all back.


hazelblackberry said...

Just for you, Rodders:

They call him the outdoor outlaw
Cause he cuts out the middle man
Cuts out the middle man
To save you mooooore