Campaign Manager

So there's a little group of four people who sit together here at work and on one of the cabinets between their desks they keep a bowl filled with Smarties. Since I'm a major user and abuser of the bowl*, I tend to pick up a big bag of Smarties at Woolies each week and bring it in to help replenish supplies. I should just cut out the middle man, like Paul the Outdoor Outlaw used to, and keep the bag on my desk.

Anyway. The point is, I trot out there, grab a handful of Smarties, everyone mocks me for my greedy ways and it helps to keep the atmosphere light. Breezy, if you see what I mean. People coming together over a common enemy and all that.

Today after my three Weet-Bix and So Good had failed to satisfy I mooched over for some chocolate goodness. A girl, originally from England, was hanging around the desks and when she saw my modest fistful of sweetness**, she said, "Smarties! Have you ever noticed how when you suck all the colour off they're all white on the inside?"

What I wanted to say to her was that that was exactly the kind of sentiment on which colonial powers like her homeland had risen and fallen. But, you know, I didn't. More of the light and breezy and less of the common enemy is what I need round here.



*Another great euphemism that wasn't.
**And another!
***I wonder if I could get a job as a creator of euphemisms. I reckon I'd be good at it.