Last year after the Jerry Lewis show, The Antiquer was telling me how Tam O'Shanter and some friends had been having a laugh at his expense: that he only attends the kinds of functions that our parents, or grandparents, would patronise for a real knees up.
"Well where does that leave me?" I asked. "I'm always with you at these things. Am I the friend who's so desperate, she'll just tag along to anything?!"
"Huh, yeah. [mimes picking up phone] 'Hey, haze, someone's lighting a box of matches in a car park next week - wanna come?'"
"And I'm all, 'Oh can I?!" And then I'm nagging you for the rest of the week. 'Are we still on for the car park thing? I've got my own box of matches!'"
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