I told her I was going home and to fend for herself when the boogeyman came.

I waved my arms expansively in the air and told The Antiquer and Tam O'Shanter that anytime they wanted me to babysit the Small Thing, I'd be happy to do it. Anytime.

The Antiquer rang me up. "What're you doing on Thursday night?"

"Oooh, nothing - why?!"

"Good. We're going to the movies - you can come and mind Small Thing."

I figured it was too late to say I was picking my toenails so I agreed. And it was no hassle, she's a good kid. What I did do was write down all the hilarious things she said to report back to her parents. And I'm going to share my top three with you here:

- After eating a strawberry: "Did I wolf that down?"
- On undoing her Bindi-style ponytails: "I look different with my hair tied up than with my hair down, don't I? [then in a quieter voice] But I still feel the same."
- On being told she absolutely must go to sleep now: "Are you going to still look after me or are you going to scutter off to your own house?"