I was on the phone to k. - I know, big surprise - and d. was in the background telling me that my haiku aren't real haiku because they're not written in Japanese. Then he started making ghastly howling noises which I assumed were his interpretation of what real haiku would sound like.
"Gracious!' I said. "I didn't know d. could speak Japanese."
"He can't. But he is fluent in clearing his throat."
And here's me thinking that was known as German.