Found Amongst Ern's Papers

REV. JOHN DAVIES

Salvation Army Rescue Mission
75 Elton Street
Sutherland NSW 2232


Dear Mr Bloody Ern,

Perhaps you have heard of me in my nationwide campaign in the cause of temperance. Annually for the past 14 years I have made a tour of Australia, delivering a series of lectures on the evils of social drinking. On these tours I have been accompanied my young friend and assistant, Clyde Linton, a young man of good family and excellent background.

Clyde is a pathetic example of life ruined by excessive indulgence in alcohol and women. Clyde would appear with me at these lectures and sit on the platform drinking and wheezing and staring at the audience through bleary and bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely, picking his nose, belching, passing wind and making obscene gestures at the women in the audience, while I would point at him as an example of what over-indulgence can do to a person.

This winter, unfortunately, Clyde died. A mutual friend has given me your name. I was wondering if you would be available to take Clyde's place on my 1984 tour of Australia.

Yours faithfully,

REV. J. DAVIES
September 27, 1984