Introducing Violet Crumbleruff

Yesterday evening The Burp rolled up at our house just as Grumpy was getting into the shower. He screeched with horror and slammed the bathroom door shut lest she see any extra bits of Grumpyskin. He's so modest. He changes each day behind a screen, giggling girlishly all the while as he teases me with glimpses of frilly knickerbockers and lacy petticoats. The wanton hussy.

I don't know how he gets that corset so tight on his own.

Anyway, when The Burp came in she looked a little flustered as she thrust a huge present into my hand and said, "YouhavetoopenthisnowisGrumpyintheshowerwellI'mafraidthere's
notimetowaitforGrumpythishastobeopenednowcomeon!" So I sat the parcel down and tore it open and there before me was a whole lot of cat stuff - food, kitty litter, a bowl, some toys. I think I looked at The Burp with a mild degree of stupefaction. Then there was another rustle at the front door and who should appear but Carrington holding a huge cardboard box.

And, ladies and gentleman, can you guess what was in that box? A kitten! A green-eyed, tortoiseshell kitten poked its nose out at me! Those stupid, stupid girls had got me a kitten. The last thing I need! So I told them to put some bricks in the box and throw it out into the ocean.

I wonder if they did?