There's this movie coming out called The Cave and the shorts feature attractive young people crawling down dank, dark, underground corridors in dim light and then in the darkness there's flashes of light which show shots of the same young people standing covered in blood and howling their guts out in fear and then in other flashes of light the monsters, my god, the monsters.
Ivan Milat doesn't spook me.
Monsters spook me.
And Satan, and his minions. All very creepy.
Anyway, last night I was the only person left at work and I went into the toilets. The lights had gone out but they work on a sensor so when someone comes in they automatically flutter into life. As they flickered on and the room stuttered between darkness and light I thought of that movie and what I would do if in the flickering I saw something. I like to do this to myself. It adds some adventure to an otherwise uneventful day.
Well, be careful what you wish for.
As I approached the toilet bowl I thought that the water, even in the dim light, looked rather dark and then as the lights flashed into full power I saw IT. A floater. Richard the Turd. Sitting menacingly in the only working toilet on our floor. Mocking me with its passive yet vile presence. And whoever had left that little gift had done it some time ago because the water was a rich, bouillabaisse brown.
Don't groan. I suffer, we all suffer.
I tell you what, The Exorcism Of Emily Rose will be nothing after this.