Jerky

One of Bloody Ern's favourite little jokes is to mention the benefits of a classical education. He has never learnt another language, but he will use a phrase, such as "je ne sais quoi", and say, "See? That's the benefit of a classical education." He's been going on in this vein for many a long year.

Last night at the hospital Bezley was reading out the menu options for the next night's dinner. One of the meals was beef chausseur. Bezley, in a rush, pronounced it as chaser. Ern tut tutted and his best high-falutin' voice said, "Bezley, my dear, I think you'll find it's chausseur."

Bezley fixed him with a beady eye and replied, "I didn't have a classical education, sweetheart. I only learnt Latin."