Grumpy and I watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We were both looking forward to a bit of gore, a bit of a fright and a few laughs. I was hoping I'd be so scared Grumpy wouldn't be able to leave the house at night for the next six months.
Condensed movie review: That was the stupidest movie I've ever seen.
No, wait. Ha ha! I'd almost suppressed the memory of Boys on the Side.
Amended condensed movie review: That was the second-stupidest movie I've ever seen.
I've heard people compare it to The Blair Witch Project. Well, yeah. I also found it very similar in that it wasn't scary at all and I couldn't wait for all the annoying characters to DIE. It wasn't until four of the five teenagers were dead, and with only 20 minutes to go, that any kind of storyline emerged. Until then, it was just a slightly overweight, somewhat sad looking gimp running amok with a chainsaw. And running amok sloooowly so his victims had half a chance to get away for some classic running-screaming-through-the-dark-woods scenes.
I had hardened my heart towards TTCM and Leatherface and the 80 minutes stolen from my life, but I softened, just a little, right at the end before the credits rolled. The last surviving teenager had managed to climb on to the back of a passing ute and was being sped away to safety, screaming all the while. The sun was just rising, casting a lovely golden glow on everything. And there, on the side of the road, in the blessed light of dawn, Leatherface - dressed in a suit and tie - danced with his chainsaw.
It was enough to make Nureyev sob. You can see it here.
3 comments:
Yeah thanks HBB; I was going to watch that tonight. Talk about a spoiler.
I think I'll change the name of this blog to "you won't die wondering".
And anyhow, the remake finishes in a much different way. Leatherface has children.
Post a Comment